Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Love Languages

After reading Karin's poem, Loving Touch, and listening to my husband's sermon on Sunday (you should soon be able to watch it here), I've been thinking of love languages.




Most likely you have heard of the book first published in 1992 by Dr. Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. The idea is that people express and receive love in different ways. There are five languages of love: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. One is not better than another. We usually express love towards others in the language that we speak. However, if we express love toward others in a way they don't understand, they will not realize we have expressed our love at all. We will be speaking a foreign language!

My love languages are acts of service and gifts. Oh, yes, I love gifts. And in my mind, acts of service are gifts. Ones that I appreciate in and from the depths of my heart.

This doesn't mean that I don't want to spend quality time with my loved ones or that I don't like to be affirmed, or that I don't like to be touched. It just means that I don't understand those languages as well. They don't translate love as clearly.

My husband's languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. Both my husband and I seem to have two. Two opposite ones! But some have only one that stands out the most. A most darling woman I know feels that she speaks all five languages, both in receiving and expressing love. Knowing her, I think she probably does! She's amazing.

It is fascinating how knowing your language just helps you out. Helps you understand your spouse a little better. Helps you understand why your child responds the way they do. Helps you "get" your friend.

What language do you speak? If you're not sure, you can take a tiny quiz here to find out.





4 comments:

  1. This book is a favorite of mine.. I recommed it quite regularly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Five Languages of An Apology sounds really interesting!!! I hadn't heard of that book before!

    ReplyDelete
  3. When we got married we were both physical contact and quality time. Now I think I'm more Actos fo Service...

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